Living Right Now Blog

Have you spent your life learning to be unhappy?

Are you playing the "if...but and if.... when "  game in your life?

We love this video clip. Take 16 minutes to re-evaluate whether

your blood is tingling with excitement today.  

Watch this 16 minute video clip by clicking here


Enjoy

How do you negotiate?

We heard a little story the other day about two business women who were looking to take on bigger premises together and at the negotiation stage with their prospective landlord. They are already successful and confident business women and still, the idea of playing hard ball on the rent and lease agreement with one of the city's most notorious property tough guys did not fill them with glee. Years of experience in corporate life had taught them the rules of negotiation - don't show your hand too soon, go in low, be prepared to walk etc etc. So they were ready for the fight.

A poem of self love on valentine weekend

We love David,

In fact we love anyone who rises to a challenge and particularly one around expressing love. As we know, it's hard to love others unless we first love ourselves. We suggested a few exercises in our last blogpost and David produced this wonderful expression of the courage to love life and yourself..

Roses are red, violets are blue

I love myself for all that I do

I care, and I risk, and I dream and I trust

I know that its go on and live, or go on and bust!

Thanks for the inspiration! David W

Happy Valentines!

Love is all there is

Ah, Valentine’s Day approaches! It seems the world is divided into two camps. Those who adore the whole red rose and champers shebang, and those who see it as going through the motions of love (as opposed to experiencing love’s true emotions). We’re not going to come down on one side or other, except to say that ANY opportunity to love and be loved is worth celebrating. So whether you are partnered up this Valentine’s, or fabulously single, you might want to think about your own love rituals. Here are three to be starting with…

• Write a love poem to yourself. Yes, really, go on and try it. Four lines will do and  you can start with “roses are red, violets are blue” if the muse isn’t speaking through you right now. Do this one ESPECIALLY if you think you haven’t got a poetic bone in your body. You’ll have a giggle at the least and may just astonish yourself with the results.
• Make a list of who you love and the quality you love most in them. Then drop them all a little note or card to arrive on the day itself telling them just that. Remember to write and post a note to yourself too…
• Love your body! Treat yourself to something that you have never tried before. Perhaps you have always wanted an Indian head massage and have never made the time for it? Whatever it is, be thankful that your best and most rewarding relationship will always be with yourself and the amazing machine that is your body that gets you through the joys and challenges of life.

So whatever mood Valentine’s Day puts you in, this year we wish you self love unlimited.

What stops you in your tracks?

One half of the founding team of Living Right Now is on her jollies and spent yesterday travelling up north to the highlands and islands. Just beyond Carlisle she and her travelling companion simply had to take an unexpected detour for something too delicious to ignore. A roadside café called “The Llama Karma Kaffe.”

 

And it was a delight. Complete with two real live llamas in the back garden and an assortment of bizarre souvenirs including a llama glove puppet. (Which is now packed away in the suitcase waiting for just the right moment to bring some llama karma into any meeting that begins to lose its zest!)

 

And it got us thinking about what makes us stop in our tracks. Things that are quirky, beautiful, intriguing, valuable, different, engaging? All of these and more. At times, life can be shades of grey, days blending together with no particular stand out moment. And then the equivalent of the Llama Karma Kaffe will come along and shake us up a bit, and in a good way.

 

It applies to people too. Some people stop you in your tracks as their uniqueness shines out. Is that you? Do you glory in your special qualities and take every opportunity to display them to the world? Many women we work with fear that a little. What if “they” don’t like the real me? Maybe I am safer behind this mask that gets me comfortably through the day? Am I really confident enough to have the kind of impact that stops people in their tracks?

 

You know, fear of success can be even more debilitating than fear of failure. When all eyes are on you, it can feel like there is no hiding place. The good news? You don’t have to be anything other than exactly who you are. That’s quite good enough. With all your flaws and challenges you are perfectly able to stop people in their tracks with your unique brilliance. And know that the masks you might choose to adopt often simply dumb it down for you and others.

There are some great activities in our book Frazzled to Fizzingto help you get in touch with your brilliance. So take a tip from a roadside llama – be proud, be you and watch the crowds gather in admiration.

The beauty within you - images of women

We love this image of two very beautiful women. What is their story do you think? There could well be a blood tie here or it or may be a close friendship. Whatever their connection, the beauty we see comes as much from the love they so clearly share as it does from any physical aspect.

How will you embrace your own beauty today?

What life roles do you play?

This month's Psychologies magazine has a great article on life roles based on recent happiness research by bestselling author Marcus Buckingham. Buckingham's research is pretty dear to the hearts of us living right now gals - he interviewed women who were happy, fulfilled and motivated by their jobs and lives to see what roles they preferred to play, and how well they matched them to what they actually chose to do.

Just another spin on character traits maybe, but what we like about the idea of strong life roles is the questions that go with them. If you are a Creator, for example, the question you most ask yourself (in one form or another) is What do I understand? A Caretaker asks Is everyone Ok? and a Weaver poses the question Who can I connect with? It's been said that the quality of your life is determined largely by the quality of the questions you ask of yourself and of others, so we love a test that helps us get to the root of the ones that fit our preferred roles. It's another great way forward in the search for the components of a balanced life.

You can take the life role test for free at Strong Life Test

And if that inspires you to think more about the roles you play - willingly or unwillingly! - then our book is perfect to help you gain clarity on who you are, what you want and how to navigate your way from Frazzled to Fizzing. It's available at a big discount too so get your copy whilst stocks last! 

Does a New Year, New You HAVE to mean a diet?

Everywhere you look this month, the front pages of magazines and newspapers are screaming with headlines aimed at women:

- New Year, New You - lose 2 stone on our amazing diet!

- Start 2010 8lbs lighter with our new eat-all-you-like plan!

- Lose weight in 2010 without giving up carbs!

It's enough to drive a woman to the nearest Hotel Chocolat in protest!

We're all for having a 'new you' in 2010, but does it really have to involve a diet?!!

OK, we'll grant you that if you're overweight, then losing a few pounds is probably a good thing - but does that mean that you can only have a 'new you' if you need to lose weight?

Of course not! There are lots of ways to reinvent yourself in 2010, and here are just a few:

- Take up a new hobby - having a hobby doesn't have to mean macrame or knitting (unless that's your thing!). If you're a budding thespian, try your hand at drama classes. Love animals? Offer to help out at your local kennels or riding schools. Dreaming of the Booker prize? Start writing that novel we all apparently have inside us. A new hobby can mean a new lease of life and a new way of looking at things, and that's a great way to find a 'new you'!

- Start meditating. Meditation is no longer the remit of peace loving hippies - a busy career and family woman can make time in her schedule for regular meditation too. And what benefits it brings! Just 10 minutes a day to centre yourself and relax can make all the difference to your attitude and mind  Make 2010 a peaceful year right from the beginning!

- Find that dream job. If you're unhappy in your job, then the chances are it will affect your homelife too. Make 2010 the time that you find that dream job rather than just dreaming about it! Make sure your CV is up to scratch and find out what's out there. Simply looking and planning will help relieve some of the pressure you've been under, so imagine how 'new' you will feel when you actually GET the job?

- Commit to YOU. It's easy to get tied up with work, family commitments, kids, pets etc etc etc. So make 2010 the year you start focusing on YOU. What do YOU want? Whether it is more time for treats, or a simple cup of tea made for you each day, start thinking about yourself a little more. The happier YOU are, the more control you'll have over other parts of your life!

If you need some pointers towards becoming a 'new you' for 2010, why not take advantage of our special offer? Our Frazzled to Fizzing book is packed full of content-rich reflections, tips, techniques and practical activities to enable you to apply the Living Right Now philosophy from the moment you start reading. And to help you start the new year with a new you, we're offering it at just £9.50 for a limited time only. Get yours now!

New Year of Living Right Now

Well, here we are in a new year. What will it bring you? What will it take from you? What will you love and what will you want to leave behind at the end of the first year of this particular decade? Instead of encouraging you to make resolutions at the beginning of this year, we encourage you to think about making them throughout the year- a series of little commitments if you like. These commitments being to look after YOU. We want you to really reflect on what YOU want from and for your ; health, wealth, career, relationships and your spiritual development this year. Our commitment to you is that  we will continue to provide as many professional women as possible with tools and tips to create the life you love, to support you in achieving  work-life balance. A lifestyle you create that provides freedom and happiness.

We said a great deal in 2009 to encourage you to accept personal responsibility for you in making choices. So, our aim at the beginning of this year is to remind you of some of those key living right now messages that we gave you during the last 12 months......

If you are wishing and wanting this is just wishy washy thinking . To be, gather, have or become something , you need to do more than wish to make things happen. We challenge you to think about why you want something and consider how you are going to get/achieve it.What's your plan? Who is on your support team? What will help you to get there?

If you find yourself unable to go for success, we have encouraged you to consider whether you are frightened of success . If you are, consider that we have approximately 60,000 thoughts a day. Around 90% of the thoughts you have today will be the same as those you had yesterday. So that's a potential 54.000 thoughts that could continually keep you fearful! So, learn to change them.

We have been coaching for so long now that we know that many of you will want to get serious about creating more work-life balance this year and that this will be uppermost in the thoughts of many of you during January. What this lifestyle of balance means, will be different for each one of you. It can start with taking just  5-15 minutes a day to think about and focus on you and your wants.You value yourself enough to give yourself the gift of a little time each day don't you?

So where are the solutions to these dilemmas? Well, in truth, they're all around you. In books, journals, Cd's, programmes, holidays, meditations etc. There are loads of resources available to you. We are rather partial to our own resources. We have spent so many years reading, researching, coaching, training, writing and just listening, that we know what works. We know that you do not need to spend hours and hours reading self development books, Cd's and the like. Nor do you have to spend lots of time attending a range of workshops to develop yourself. If you want to, by all means do.Most people who do this stuff implement a tiny proportion of what they learn.

You are busy, your time is precious and rather than being overwhelmed by the volume of what you might tell yourself you should, ought and must do/read/experience, just commit to one thing- 5-15 minutes a day or even 5 to 15 minutes a week for yourself. Time to reflect on some aspect of life that you choose to focus on and time to complete a short thinking exercise, planning exercise or activity that will enhance you, energise you and even maximise you. Buy our book if you want a  book choc full of reflections and exercises , the accompanying journal is for those of you who love to write down your thoughts and notes as you journey through From Frazzled to Fizzing. If you really cannot contemplate a book, buy the 52 card deck - a card for you to select every week. You can find 5-15 minutes a week for you can't you? (Many of our clients now keep these by their computer and start their week by picking one up every monday morning).

So, invest in you in 2010. Whatever you do, make this year the start of the decade of Living Right Now for you.  

Our very best wishes to you and yours.

Marie and Jeni xx

Alone and lonely this Christmas? 5 things to do if it matters

Lots of us will be spending Christmas 2009 alone - maybe your family is far away, or you don't get on; you're not married or are divorced or widowed; your children have flown the coop or you don't have any kids. It's easy to forget at this time of year that not everyone is in the bosom of a loving family, putting tinsel on a huge Christmas tree and cracking walnuts in front of the Queen's speech.

And lots of you will be happy being alone - no routine to adhere to, no traditions to uphold, no squabbles, no 'keeping up with the Joneses' Christmas shopping, and no sleeping off the huge expensive Christmas lunch you've been up since Am preparing.

But if you are going to be alone this Christmas, and it DOES matter, here are 5 ways to make the time go a little faster, and be a little more fun.

1) Volunteer for a homeless charity. You may be alone at Christmas, but there are people out there who are not only alone, but homeless - charities such as Crisis offer the opportunity to help out in one of their Christmas shelters, making sure people can eat, keep warm and receive help with a number of tasks.

2) Visit someone else who is alone. if you feel bad about being alone, the chances are that others do too. Is there someone in your neighbourhood who doesn't have many visitors, lives alone, and has no family? Maybe they'd be glad of the company too!

3) Spend the day with friends. You might have brushed off the fact that you're alone and not liking it this christmas, but we bet that if you opened up to a friend or two, someone would be delighted to have you along for the day, or come to you. Why not sit in on someone else's family Christmas, play with the kids, walk the animals and be smug in the knowledge that any ensuing squabbles are nothing to do with you?

4) Have a pamper day. Just because it's Christmas Day doesn't mean you have to eat turkey and sprouts, and slob in front of the TV - it's YOUR day, spend it on yourself. Wake up when you want to, have a bubbly bath with Champagne and chocolates, watch your favourite films wearing your snuggliest pyjamas and relax, your Christmas can be about YOU and no-one else.

5) Organise an on line Christmas Day Party - if you're a member of various social networking sites, the chances are that you're not the only one spending the day alone. Set up a Skype chatroom, or a Facebook group, and everyone can drop in and out when they please for a bit of virtual company and chat!

So there you are, 5 things that mean you don't have to hate being alone this Christmas, even at such short notice as this!

Here at Living Right Now, we hope that no matter how you're spending the festivities, or who you're spending them with, you have a fantastic time and remember to spend time on YOU.